Soulnames
Dedicated to Adrienne, for giving me the little nudge I needed to finally write this story.
It was a time of plenty for the Wolfriders.
After twenty-three turns under Chieftess Joyleaf, the tribe was thriving, with one elf for each year of Joyleaf’s rule. And now Strongbow and Moonshade had Recognized again, under the first full moon of the new-green. The tribe would number a full three-eights in another two years, and the archer and tanner would once again feel the joy of parenthood, decades after their firstborn Crescent was taken from them. Not even the return of the humans, who had camped near the Holt for three winters now, could dampen the tribe’s spirits.
A heavy spring thunderstorm had swelled the streams near Goodtree’s Glen, and now Grayling and Foxfur waded in the water, spearing the fish out nearly two and a time. Little Dewshine helped them eagerly, truly smiling for the first time since her mother’s death. Moonshade worked on her tanning frames, humming a soft tune to herself. Rainsong and her mother Moonsbreath gathered wildflowers to string garlands about the Holt. Scouter chased fireflies while Clearbrook chased after him in turn, trying to get him to sit still and try on his new leather vest. Even taciturn Strongbow had a new spring in his step, and a strange little smile that he could never quite banish from his face.
At yet in the midst of the celebration, Swift had disappeared.
Joyleaf looked around for Skywise – he could always be counted on to find his closest agemate. But he too had slipped out of sight. Not with Foxfur, for she was hard at work gutting the fish she and Grayling had just caught. Perhaps he had snuck off with his mother to stargaze in the little nest overlooking Goodtree’s Glen. The chieftess decided to try her daughter’s next best friend.
Joyleaf found Nightfall at Redmark’s side, watching with lovestruck eyes as the tracker and would-be treeshaper carefully replanted a small cluster of roots and leaves. “The wild dreamberries Skywise and Foxfur found just beyond the Holt’s borders are much hardier than Pike’s patch,” he explained to the cub. “If I replant this little shoot next to our own dreamberries, the two plants might crossbreed in a few years – produce bigger berries for a longer season.”
“Crossbreed. Do plants mate?” she asked, though it was clear she couldn’t care less about dreamberry shoots.
“Mm-hm,” Redmark nodded. “Some plants just breed by breaking off a piece of themselves. Imagine... if you broke off your little finger,” he locked pinkies with her, and the cub giggled, “and it grew into a little baby Nightfall. But others... they mate rather like fish, spawning pollen dust instead of eggs or sperm clouds. The bees that come to feed on the pollen the flowers make, and they pick up bits pollen on their backs. Then when they feed on another flower, the pollen falls on the other flower and,” he clapped his hands together. “Mating. Not the way we’d think of it, of course, but...”
“I think I like the way we do it better,” Nightfall murmured, sliding a little closer to him.
“Nightfall,” Joyleaf came up behind them. “Do you know where Swift is?”
“Hm?” Nightfall looked over her shoulder. “Oh, I dunno. Have you tried sending for her?”
“I’d rather not. She already feels I keep too close a watch over her. Maybe I could just happen to... stumble over her.”
“I think I saw her riding Nightrunner over towards the lookout hill,” Redmark said helpfully. Nightfall ignored Joyleaf completely, her golden eyes still on Redmark. Joyleaf forced back a smile as she took her leave of the two. At thirteen Nightfall was still a scrawny cub – “all skin and bones” as Nightfall herself lamented – but it was clear she had already staked a claim on Redmark. As for her intended prey, Joyleaf wondered if he had any inkling of Nightfall’s infatuation.
Joyleaf called her young wolf Sleekwind to her side. Her faithful Shadowsheen had died the past year, but she had been fortunate, and bonded with Sleekwind less three moons after Shadowsheen’s passing. Sleekwind was still too small to ride, but the juvenile cheerfully padded alongside her elf-friend, happy to be included in a night time walk.
Joyleaf found Swift sitting alone on the lookout hill where she and Skywise often looked out over the entire valley. The cub leaned back against Nightrunner’s back, gazing up at the stars.
“The night sky always shines doubly bright after a good shower,” Joyleaf observed as she sat down next to her daughter.
Swift nodded, her gaze distracted. Joyleaf silently appraised the girl out of the corner of her eye. She seemed lost in thought, her lower lip pouting slightly the way Joyleaf’s did when she was wrestling with a problem beyond her grasp. Joyleaf smiled softly. Little wonder those who had known their chieftess as a cub – Treestump, Rain and Longbranch – said it seemed they saw Joyleaf reborn in Swift.
And yet, the way Swift’s eyes darkened when she brooded, the way her brow knitted, those little signs Joyleaf recognized well from Swift’s sire.
Bearclaw... did he still live, out there somewhere in the vast forest? Mother and daughter seldom spoke of him, and Joyleaf knew Swift preferred it that way. The few times Joyleaf had smiled fondly and murmured “You remind me of your father,” Swift had glowered in return, then fallen into the same resentful, sulking silence Bearclaw had so often exhibited.
You do him an injustice, daughter... Joyleaf thought sometimes. But always she closed her mind to the what-ifs. The chance for a happy family had been shattered long ago. It did no good to dwell on it now.
“What troubles my little cub, hmm?” she ruffled Swift’s hair. “You look like you have your head up in the sky again.”
Swift shrugged. “It’s nothing...” but she squirmed uncomfortably against Nightrunner’s back. Joyleaf waited patiently, and before ten beats had passed, Swift sat up taller.
“Mother? What’s... what’s Recognition like?”
Joyleaf smiled. Of course. Strongbow and Moonshade had met eyes only two moons past. At the height of the new-green the entire forest was astir with the ancient mating rituals of birds and beasts. And Swift was no longer a little cub. She had gone on her spirit quest less than a year ago. Her sinewy body was slowly becoming subtle curves. It was the time of initiation and fiery dreams. No wonder she was curious.
“There is no one answer, my cub,” Joyleaf said. “Recognition... it is different for all who are touched by it. You will understand it until it comes upon you... and then... well, then there will be no need for words. It is... it’s like finding a piece of yourself you didn’t know was missing. You become more than before... as if you see through two sets of eyes, feel with two hearts.”
“You... Recognized once before,” Swift said. “Before... him.”
“Yes. To old Far-Touch, back when I was... oh, when I was about the age Foxfur is now. And I had a little daughter...” she smiled fondly at the memory, distant as a wondrous dream. “Goldmist, I named her... after the way the sun burned the morning mists in the death-sleep, when she was born. She lived... oh... three turns of the seasons, I think. It was her fourth winter, I remember now, that took her away from me.”
“But you and Far-Touch – you were never lifemates. Or even lovemates.”
“No. We never had much in common. And after we had answered the call of Recognition... we found there was no longer any desire between us. But we parted grateful for the gifts we had given each other, both of us changed for the better, both of us more than we had been before.”
“Did... your Recognition with... Bearclaw change you for the better?” Swift sounded doubtful.
“Yes, it did, Swift. It gave me you.” She wrapped her arm around Swift’s shoulders.
Swift blushed. “I meant besides... the baby.”
“Oh, you cannot separate the two. Recognition is... is discovery. And in that is the discovery of new life – or it’s possibility. And when you answer the call, all that you have learned about yourself – and your lifemate – the mating of your souls – it... it calls a new soul into being.”
Swift wound a lock of hair around her finger idly. Her brow furrowed. “So... there’s always a cub... when Recognition strikes. But... you can have a cub without Recognition.”
Joyleaf bit her lip. “I don’t know much about that. It was more common in times past. I’m sure Longbranch can tell you tales of Brightwater, Moonshade’s mother, and the many cubs she bore outside Recognition... cubs she bore and lost, all save our tanner. But now... it is rare indeed to find cubs born without eyes-meeting-eyes”
“Pike–”
“Pike was brought into life through his father’s powers. The love between Rain and Moonsbreath was such that they could force a Recognition... or something close to it, anyway. But that takes a healer’s gift.”
“So... you can have cubs without Recognition. But not often. So....” Again Swift brooded the way Bearclaw would. “Can you have Recognitions... without cubs?”
“Sometimes...” Joyleaf frowned. “Something goes wrong... the cub is lost–”
“No!” Swift said impatiently. “I mean, can you have something like a Recognition – that sudden sharing of souls... but there’s no...” she screwed her face up, “mating.”
Joyleaf frowned. “What a strange question, cubling. Why do you ask?”
“I’m just wondering... I’m curious, Mother.” Her expression was pained, helpless. “I’m trying to figure it all out. I mean... what if you suddenly Recognize someone you can’t stand? What happens if you Recognize a close relative – can you? And... what if you don’t want it – is there anyway you can stop it?”
Joyleaf sighed. “Oh, Swift. You shouldn’t worry about these things.”
“But I do.”
“Why?”
“Because... because I’m not going to be a cub forever. Wolfriders younger than I have gone through it – I heard the howls for Stormlight and Tanner... and for Rahnee and Zarhan. And I want to be ready. I want to be ready for anything.”
Joyleaf smiled at her daughter’s curiousity. But Swift continued. “What am I supposed to do when... if... I... I mean, what if I Recognize someone I don’t want? What...” she hesitated, then looked away. “Nevermind...”
“What, child?”
Swift looked back at her. “What did you think when you Recognized him? You hated him. Everyone knew you did. You cut him out of your heart – Treestump said you said so. And suddenly – did you just fall in love with him all over again? Was it right away? Or was it just some... compulsion?”
Joyleaf stroked Swift’s hair. “I was scared. I was very scared. I didn’t want it. And no... I didn’t love him again. Your father... I have feelings for him, I admit it. Sometimes... I miss him. Sometimes I miss him so much it hurts. And yet... seeing his soul... he scares me. He terrifies me. And yet... hm... how can I describe it? There was this fire inside me. Burning me all over. And I... I hungered... I needed him. I needed to feel his skin against mine. I needed to feel his soul twined about mine. I needed... completion. In that moment, I was more than I ever thought I could be, and yet still painfully lacking. And I needed to be whole.”
Swift sneered. “Like wolves in rut stuck together.”
“There’s no need to be vulgar, Swift.”
“It sounds vulgar. It sounds... like being sick on dreamberries.”
“You’ve yet to know joining, Swift. When you do... you might understand a little more.”
“How do you know I haven’t–” Swift began hotly. But she saw Joyleaf’s patient smile and she blushed. “It’s that obvious, is it?”
“Don’t be ashamed of your caution, cub.”
“Nightfall would drag Redmark into the bushes were she just a little...”
“Sturdier,” Joyleaf quipped, and Swift giggled.
“And I’m still... timid. I’m too... afraid.”
“Then you are not yet ready. And that’s no fault. We can’t all be Skywises. And I doubt we would all wish to be.”
“Skywise...” Swift murmured.
“Is that it? Has he teasing you again?”
“No... not really. It’s just... can’t you know the pleasures of Recognition – the sharing of souls – without... the fire and the hunger?”
Joyleaf chuckled. “Most cubs your age long for the fire without the commitment.”
“I know. But... I don’t want the fire. I don’t... I don’t want to...”
“To lose control?”
“No. Well... I don’t know,” Swift laced her hands over her ankles. “I’d like to be able to choose who I’ll feel the hunger for. What if I Recognize someone I don’t want to hunger for? What then?”
“I wouldn’t worry, Swift. Recognitions at your age are rare. You will have many more years to become comfortable with yourself, and comfortable with the pleasures of sharing. And trust me... when Recognition happens, even if it with someone you never looked to with desire before... then you will feel the fire in your blood... and you’ll find you like it very much.”
“And if I don’t feel the fire?”
Joyleaf smiled and ruffled Swift’s hair again. “Then it is not really Recognition, cub, and you have nothing to worry about.”
Swift smiled wanly, but her eyes were still clouded with worry. Joyleaf embraced her daughter, and Swift clung to her with a desperation that surprised the chieftess. Was she still hiding something? But Joyleaf reminded herself that Swift was weathering a delicate time, and she hugged Swift tightly before setting her back.
“Do... do you have any other questions, cubling?” Joyleaf asked a little clumsily. She realized she was completely unprepared for this stage of Swift’s adolescence. It was to her relief when Swift shook her head and said she needed a little time to think. Joyleaf called Sleekwind to her side and left her daughter to think.
**You will feel better by morning, you’ll see,** Joyleaf sent. **At this age... everything burns brightly, but all fades by bedtime.**
**Yes,** Swift sent back uncertainly, and Joyleaf felt her confusion.
And it seemed to her that she felt something else... something in her Tam which was not there before.
Swift continued her vigil on the hilltop, watching the stars slowly turn around the Hub of the Great Wheel. Usually she and Skywise sat together, and he pointed out the various shapes he and his mother had named together.
Skywise...
She stifled a sob deep in her chest. She couldn’t bear to tell her mother the truth. Couldn’t bear to admit aloud what had happened not one sunrise past, during that night of thunder and skyfire...
“Swift, we should be getting back to the Holt!” Skywise shouted into the sheeting downpour. “Your mother’s going to have my hide for losing you in this storm.”
Swift spun around, her head tipped back to the rain. “Don’t you love the smell of it, Skywise? I love the new-green rain. I think the plants are laughing to be so wet.”
“I think you’ve been spending too much time around Redmark,” Skywise retorted as he stalked over to her and caught her wrist. The rain had flattened his silver-white hair against his face, and his leather headband was swollen with water and itching his forehead. He longed to be back at the Holt, enjoying the rain from the warmth and comfort of Foxfur’s den, not trying to tame the wild little cub who seemed to have no idea how unattractive her best friend was fast becoming to a prospective lovemate.
“Now come on, cub–” Skywise said. Swift pivoted, laying her free hand on Skywise’s metal wrist-bracer and heaving him up off the ground. She threw him up over her shoulder and dropped him hard on the muddy ground. Skywise groaned as he looked up at her scowling visage, then cracked a weak smile. “You’ve cut your milk teeth, that’s sure. You gonna be stroking Pike with that grip?”
Swift blushed hotly. “That’s none of your business!” she aimed a kick at his ribs. Skywise rolled out of the way. He swung his leg out and tripped Swift. As she slipped in the mud he seized her wrist again and pull her into his lap.
“I’ve got a good bite myself,” he laughed, and proceeded to rub his fist against the top of Swift’s skull as she struggled and demanded release. Finally the limber teenager squirmed free, and the deadly look in her eyes told Skywise he had better flee.
“You – troll-faced fish-poker!” Swift chased after him. Skywise raced through the muddy undergrowth, slapping against water laden fern fronds as the enraged chief’s daughter closed on his heels.
“Hah!” Swift tackled Skywise’s legs, and threw him face first into the muddy. “Now who’s got who?” she laughed. She yanked Skywise’s headband clear off his head and took off running, daring him to catch up.
Skywise pulled himself up out of the mud. He was covered in muck from head to toe. Foxfur’s bed would almost certainly denied him now. He doubted his parents would even let him in – not unless he stood in the rain long enough to catch his death of cold, waiting for the mud to wash off. A feral grin crossed his face. Well, if he was going to be cold, dirty, miserable and frustrated, he had better make sure his agemate was equally punished.
“Run while you can, Swift!” Skywise shouted into the forest as he chased her. “You’re getting such a thumping when I’m through with you.”
“Hah! Come catch me then, lazy-legs!” she called back as she cut through the bushes for the riverbank.
Skywise doubled his pace, even though it make him slip on the mud and almost cost him another trip into the boggy ground. He vowed he’d see Swift wearing a nice uniform layer of mud before the night was over.
Thunder rolled overhead. The rain sheeted down even harder, stinging Skywise’s bare arms. At length he broke out onto the slippery ground of the riverbank. Between the snowmelt running down from the mountains and the sudden downpour, the creek which had run low all winter was swelling rapidly. The once solid banks were slick and bubbling, saturated with moisture. Swift wove along the edge of the riverbank, waving the headband high overhead. Skywise raced after her.
“Come on, slowpoke–” Swift said, twisting at the waist to judge his distance. Her foot slipped in the mud, and she fell down the side of the riverbank. Skywise slowed his pace, careful not to fall himself. Swift now lay on her stomach, her hands digging in the mud at the lip of the bank as she slowly slid backwards, towards the roiling creek.
“Well... well... not Swift the Surefooted, that’s sure,” Skywise chuckled.
“Help me up!” Swift shouted.
“No... I think I’d rather just stand here and count. I wanna see how long it takes you to hit the water.”
“Skywise!”
“Tanner’s needles,” he heaved a sarcastic sigh. “It’s only a swollen creek. You’ll survive.”
“Here!” Swift pried her fingers loose of the headband while trying to keep purchase on the muddy bank. “Take it. And haul me up.”
“You won’t get much wetter. Don’t worry.”
“Skywise! I swear! Haul me out or I’ll stuff itchleaf down your trousers and make sure you and Foxfur have a real fun time in Goodtree’s Glen!”
Skywise chuckled. He supposed he had made the cub suffer enough. “All right. Gimme your hand.” He bent down and held out a hand. Swift struggled to reach up and take it, and he clasped her cold fingers tightly. With a grunt of effort, he lifted the slender maiden up into the air and set her firmly down on solid ground.
Thunder crashed above them. Their eyes locked.
**Tam!** Skywise stammered.
**Fahr?** Swift gasped.
“Stars...” Skywise murmured. He still held her hand, and she his, in a viselike grip.
“Oh...” Swift breathed. “Oh...”
“So...” Skywise licked his lips. He realized his hand hurt, and he gently released hers.
“So...” He stepped back. “So this is... what... it feels like.”
“No...” Swift shook her head. “No... not you. It... can’t be...”
“Recognition.”
“No! Don’t say it! Don’t!” Swift turned away.
“Swift, wait!” Skywise held out his hand. Swift recoiled from it.
“Not you. Not now! It... it can’t be!”
She turned and bolted back into trees, leaving Skywise alone in the rain.
“Do you ever wonder about Recognition?” Swift had asked, almost a year before, as the two sat out on the lookout hill.
“Oh... that,” Skywise chewed on a spring of grass. “ ‘Lovemates join for pleasure, lifemates join for love, but Recognition... ah!’” he quoted the old verse sarcastically.
“Don’t joke,” Swift said.
“Aww... Recognition just makes nutmash of a simple delight, cub,” Skywise rolled over on his side. “Trust me. We’d all be better off without it.”
“Huh?” Swift turned. “Is your shell cracked, half-wit? We’d die out!”
“True. Guess that’s what Recognition’s for... makin’ more pesky, little ankle-biters. We have enough of those, between Nightfall and Dewshine and Scouter. Agh, Scouter – did you know he tried to feed one of my best boots to his Bristlebrush. And you know how that pup loves to gnaw leather. I could have thrashed him – would’ve, if Grandmother hadn’t been right there playing ‘elder sister’ over the little twit.”
Swift didn’t care about Scouter and his penchant for feeding leathers to his wolf pup. “But... isn’t Recogniton also about being so close to another... that you share everything... even your... soulname?”
Skywise chuckled. “You aren’t ready to share anything, cub, let alone your soulname.”
Swift bristled. Her lack of curiousity in one lone matter was a sore spot with her. “We can’t all be stags in rut.”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Skywise dismissed. “It take time to become an expert at any game.” He sat up and seized a lock of Swift’s hair in a crude parody of a chief’s lock. “Before you know it – Swift, Blood of Ten Chiefs, hunter, leader, and tireless pleaser of every lad in Wolfrider territory!”
“Tusk-hog!” Swift slapped his hand away. “I won’t be pleasing you, that’s for sure. Show me anything I don’t want to see and I’ll cut it right off.”
Skywise threw his head back and laughed. “Fair enough! ‘Cause I don’t care much for joining with little golden-haired porcupines!” Then he smiled slyly. “Pike on the other hand... I hear he has a knack for that particular beast.”
Swift giggled and blushed. “Well.. don’t you go telling him anything. I’m not near ready for a lovemate.”
“And I’m not near ready for any nutmash like Recognition,” Skywise lay back. “And frankly... if I’m lucky, I’ll never have to be.”
“Never?”
“Don’t want anyone’s soul tied to me. Mother and Father told me enough about theirs to put me off it forever. Getting your insides all muddled up... half-mad with foam-sickness. Becoming... almost someone else completely. Nope. I wanna be just what I am. Free and happy.”
“Well... I’d like to know what it’s all about,” Swift said, lying back in the grass as well. “Not now, of course. But someday...”
“But not with Skywise!” Swift turned and wept into Nightrunner’s fur as he whined in consolation. “Not with him!”
The birds were beginning their early morning song when Eyes High climbed the Tallest Tree and found Skywise still sitting up in their stargazing nest. “Aren’t you coming to bed, wolfling? The humans will be afoot a few steps of the sun.”
“I thought I’d sleep up here, Mother,” he replied, his eyes distant, his voice hoarse.
“No, you won’t. You know the rules. You can make a little roost at Goodtree’s Rest, but we’re too close to human territory here, and you know it.”
Skywise reluctantly nodded. Eyes High held out her hand, and he took it, letting her help him down from the perch.
“Are you all right, Skywise? You’ve been so quiet since last night.”
“Bad dreams, I guess. I’ve having a little trouble sleeping.”
“You hardly ate anything tonight. Are you feeling ill? We can go visit your grandfather –”
“No, Mother, I’m fine,” he said, a little harshly. “Really,” he added, softer. “I’m just... thinking.”
“Did you have another fight with Swift?”
Skywise’s shoulders tensed. Eyes High patted his shoulder. “You tease her too much, you know. She’s not a little whelp anymore. Remember the last time you laughed at her when you shouldn’t have? You couldn’t run to Rain fast enough to get that black eye healed before the others realized the cub clouted you one.”
Skywise sat down on the branch. “It’s not like that... I... I did something stupid. Well... I didn’t.... But something happened anyway. And she won’t talk to me. Won’t even answer my sendings.”
“She has her sire’s moods, sometimes.”
“Don’t tell her that.”
Eyes High chuckled. “No. Definitely not. Just give her a little space, Skywise. You two always patch things up in a few days, and then you’ll be closer than ever.”
Skywise did not seem cheered, and she grazed his mind with hers in an affectionate sending. His mind was remarkably guarded, as if he were wrestling with some dark secret. For a moment she considered making him reveal it. But she knew how he chafed under her overprotective watch. So she decided not to probe further. Her wolfling always told her whatever troubled him. She would be patient.
“Are you sure you aren’t hungry, Swift?” Joyleaf asked as she offered the cub a little midnight snack of dried venison. “You ate so little yesterday.”
“I think I ate a bad dreamberry the other night while I was stargazing. My stomach’s been a little grumbly, Mother, that’s all. Maybe a little later.”
“All right,” Joyleaf said skeptically. “But stay away from dreamberries for a few days, hmm? They may feel satisfying, but your belly needs more than berries.”
“Uh-huh,” Swift pulled on her boots.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know. I need to think.”
“Skywise!” Foxfur sighed, pulling her tunic closed. “Bearclaw’s beard! If you’re going to sleepwalk through our play, then you might as well go take a nap.”
“Huh?” Skywise lifted his head from her shoulder.
“What is it, lovemate?” Foxfur plucked a few stray twigs from his hair. She had thought a little visit to the dreamberry field might rekindle the passion that had been oddly lacking from him the past few days. But despite a generous helping of berries and a cloudless sky overhead, Skywise’s typically boisterous foreplay was remarkably... distracted.
“Thinking of someone else?” she teased, but there was a frosty edge to her words.
“Actually...” Skywise brooded. “I... I’m sorry, Foxfur. I’m got my head in the sky again. I... I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
“The fire’s gone out, that’s what happened,” she snapped.
“I know. I... I thought we might spark something... sorry.”
She softened at his anguished expression. “Look, Skywise, if you’re thinking of someone else, just say so.” She smiled disarmingly. “I’m not so greedy I can’t share.”
“No, of course not. I don’t have eyes for anyone else. Why would I?”
Foxfur laughed. “Come on. We all know Swift’s growing up. And we all knew it was only a matter of time before you started looking at ‘that pesky little cub’ differently.”
“What?” Skywise sat up. “Swift? No. I mean, Swift’s just a cub. She’ll always be... my pesky little sister. Nothing more. Look, Foxfur, if the fire has gone out for a while it hasn’t re-sparked for Swift. I don’t burn for her–” he caught himself. “I don’t burn for her,” he repeated, more to himself. “I don’t. I don’t... want her at all.” A huge grin began to spread across his face. “I don’t burn for Swift. I don’t burn for Swift!”
“Well congratulations!” Foxfur said icily. She fixed her fur hat back over her hair. “Now, when you decide you burn for me again, come find me.”
“Right, right,” Skywise said. He was on his feet, hurriedly retrieving his skirt and headband.
“What’s your hurry?”
“I... I gotta do something,” Skywise stammered. “I gotta... gotta find Swift.” At the sound of her name, he burst out laughing again. “Yeah. Gotta find Swift...” he murmured, still chuckling under his breath as he slipped on his boots. “Ayooah! Starjumper!” he called.
Foxfur remained sitting in the dreamberry patch, arms crossed over her chest, a scowl on her face. “A few nuts shy of a pouch...”
Longbranch was helping Moonshade and Moonsbreath skin a freshly killed deer when Skywise came running up, Starjumper loping at his side. “Longbranch,” he pulled the howlkeeper aside. “You and Brownberry,” he whispered, “you weren’t lovemates before you Recognized, right?”
“Um... no, no cub, we weren’t.” Longbranch frowned. “Why do you ask?”
“So... um... I’m just curious, is all... I mean, what’s it like to Recognize someone you’re not already playing with? How long before that ol’ fire started blazing in the blood?” he gave Longbranch a playful nudge in the ribs. “Did you have to have her right away? Or did it take a few days to really get roaring?”
“No,” Longbranch said. “It was... pretty immediate. Why do you–”
But Skywise was already running off, calling a “Thanks, Longbranch,” over his shoulder.
Longbranch looked over at the two tanners, who were equally puzzled by what little they had overheard. “A few nuts shy...” Longbranch shook his head ruefully.
Skywise found Swift sitting on the lookout hill, exactly where he imagined she’d be.
“Swift?”
Swift looked away. “Oh... Skywise.... I don’t...”
“No, no,” Skywise sat down next to her. “It’s good news.”
“Good news?” Swift looked doubtful.
He sat down next to her. “Listen. Have you felt anything... any... stirrings of fire, since the other night?”
“No!” Swift looked horrified. “None. Skywise... we... we can’t be Recognized. We can’t! It’s wrong... it has to be. I can’t... join with you and bear your cub. High Ones, it would be like bearing Grayling’s cub! I asked... I asked Mother–”
“You told her?”
“No. No, she just thinks I’m a curious cub. She... she said you never learn another’s soulname like this without Recognition. We... we have to mate! But I don’t want to. I can’t even imagine it. I either start laughing hysterically or feel my stomach twist in knots. You... you’re practically my brother! But Mother says when you Recognize there’s nothing you can do, and before you know it, you’ll want to – because it’s... it’s like a hunger you can’t control – and the idea of being so... out of control... wanting to do something that I know shouldn’t be right... it’s a mistake!” she was babbling now, tears welling in her eyes. “It has to be. I can’t even imagine...”
“But your mother says when you Recognize you’ll want to...”
“Yes. She says you can’t help it.”
“But you don’t feel anything. No fire? No hunger?”
“No! And I feel sick with dread imagining being overtaken by it.”
“I haven’t felt anything either. Nothing at all.” Skywise smiled. “It’s more like... still water than fire.”
Swift frowned. “But... when it does start...”
“I don’t think it’s going to.”
“What?”
“It’s been nearly three nights now. I just talked to Longbranch – he says the instant he Recognized Brownberry he suddenly felt... it. The fire. The hunger. The... pokin’ nutmash – insides getting all mixed up. It doesn’t take three days to happen, Swift. If it was Recognition we’d both feel... well, something by now!”
A wild light of hope appeared in Swift’s eyes. “You think so? But... I can’t seem to sleep or eat... aren’t those signs? Well... that could just as easily be fear. But...” she searched his eyes desperately. “How will we know for sure?”
“We could... try something...”
“Joining?”
“No, no... No!”
Swift frowned. “I suppose... we could try a kiss.”
“Yeah,” he nodded uncomfortably. He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I guess... that should tell us if there’s a spark.”
“Right.”
“Right.”
“So.. we should kiss.”
“Yep.”
“On the lips?” she asked dubiously.
“Uh-huh.”
“Mouths open?”
Skywise’s face fell, but he recovered quickly. “Maybe... just a little.”
“All right...” Swift leaned a little closer. “Um... so...”
Skywise leaned in. “You... know... how, right?”
“Of course!”
“All right...” Skywise nodded. “So...” he let his eyes drift closed.
“So...” Swift swallowed and leaned in, covering his lips with hers. She squirmed with unease and tried to draw back, but Skywise touched her shoulder reassuringly and her mouth gradually softened against his. They lingered in the embrace for a long moment, then gently parted, ever-so-slightly out of breath.
“Well?” Swift asked.
Skywise shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Me neither.”
“Like... kissing a baby sister.”
“Exactly!” Swift grinned. “Like kissing Grayling! No fire! No sparks, no smoldering embers, not even a tingle!”
“Yes!”
“Just like... flat... empty...”
“Hey now!” Skywise bristled. “You aren’t that good yourself, you know. I’ve lip-smacked fish with more personality.”
“Well, I’ve gotten more flutters in my stomach practicing on my hand!” Swift threw back.
“Cold fish!” Skywise slapped her shoulder.
“Rutting stag!” She slapped his in return.
Skywise was laughing. “That’s great!”
“Pokin’ right it is!” The two of them collapsed against each other and howled with laughter.
Swift pulled away abruptly. “You mean it wasn’t Recognition?”
“I don’t think so. Not... not the kind we think of.”
“I don’t have to join with you?”
“Nope.”
“I don’t have to join with anyone now?”
Skywise grinned and shook his head. Swift let out a cry of joy and threw her arms about his shoulders. “Thank the High Ones!”
They held each other close as the laughter slowly ebbed and the two elves grew serious again. Slowly they parted and gazed deep into each others’ eyes.
**Fahr?**
Skywise smiled softly, brushing a strand of Swift’s hair out of her eyes. “Tam...” he drew in a tremulous breath. “Tam. I... I know you...”
Swift grinned to hear her soulname on his lips. “Fahr.”
“I thought I’d lost you. I thought you’d never want to look at me again.”
“I don’t think I could bear to lose you. You... you’ll always be here for me, right?”
Skywise touched his forehead to hers. “Always.”
“Scared?”
He shook his head. “Not anymore.”
“I thought this sort of thing was too much responsibility for you. I thought you wanted to be free.”
“I did. I thought I did.” He took her face in his hands and stroked her cheek. “But... from the moment I saw you born... I... I knew you. Even then. And now... I guess... I’ve always known...”
“Our souls are tied,” Swift said. “We’re... we’re...” she screwed up her face. “What are we?”
Skywise laughed as he hugged her again. “Don’t try, Tam. There’s no name for you and me... unless... unless it’s brother and sister.”
Swift hugged him back. “Brother and sister. In all but blood.”
They embraced a moment longer, then parted and lay back on the grass, hands clasped fast together. For a time they neither spoke nor sent, but simply watched their familiar stars pass overhead.
“What are we going to do now?” Swift finally asked.
“I – if I ever get her to forgive me – am going to show Foxfur why she shouldn’t trade me in for Woodlock,” Skywise decided. “And you are going to wait until you are good and ready and then you are going to show Pike the night of his young life.”
Swift chuckled. “I mean besides that.”
**Besides that... we’ll just... be. Tam and Fahr. And when we’re old and gray with facefur down to our knees – well, my knees, at least – and great-great-grand-cubs running around tormenting us and our lifemates... we’ll still be Tam and Fahr.**
Swift gave his hand a squeeze. They returned to their silent stargazing, awed by the depths of the night sky.
“So... how was my kissing, really?” Swift asked.
“Not bad. A little tense. But not bad.”
“Mm.”
“Mine?”
“Meh. You’re pretty good.”
“Good.”
“But you’re no Pike.”
“Hey!”
Elfquest copyright 2014 Warp Graphics, Inc. Elfquest, its logos, characters, situations, all related indicia, and their distinctive likenesses are trademarks of Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved. Some dialogue taken from Elfquest comics. All such dialogue copyright 2014 Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved. Alternaverse characters and insanity copyright 2014 Jane Senese and Erin Roberts