TEIR
Birthplace: Northern Plains
Occupation: Mysterious Stranger
"Well, after living by myself for untold years since my mother abandoned
me to my assorted low-key neuroses, it should be fun to serve as a satire
game-show host. Sure, I expect everyone will want to kill me for the things
they'll go through, but that beats sitting around Howling Rock playing
mind games with the Master of the Shapechanged - Whoa! Hold the
phone! Who's that gorgeous lanky redhead in the Wild Hunt?"
The Wolfriders
CUTTER
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Jackass Chief
Luxury Item: Black Satin Bikini Briefs.
"As chief, I have been entrusted with the... trust of the tribe as
a whole. I do not expect that situation to change now that we're on Beacon.
My strategy will be to basically rely on the trust my tribemates have placed
in me. I'm very confident that I will remain chief of my tribe in the coming
weeks. Will I be the ultimate survivor? Well, if I survived eight-eights-time-eight
WITHOUT MY FAMILY *sniff* *sniff* then I think I can manage 51 days on
this island."
TREESTUMP
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Senile Elder
Luxury Item: Golf Clubs
"Well, naturally, I think I am the best candidate to take charge, after
all, I am the eldest Wolfrider, and I have acted as chief for all of...um,
three weeks, during my nephew's absence. And of course I'm not worried
about my tribe's unity. This will be grand old fun as far as I'm concerned.
Just like when we fought ol'.... whazzisname... you know... the troll guy."
CLEARBROOK
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Smart Elder
Luxury Item: Hairbrush
"As an elder it will be my duty to make sure the tribe is getting along
well, that everyone is doing their best to make the shift to Beacon. I'm
not worried about the survival situation - we're Wolfriders after all.
But I'm a little worried about the challenges - I don't like the ideas
of Wolfriders competing against each other. I only hope we can minimize
any tensions between the tribes - we're all family after all."
SKOT
Birthplace: Wayfair
Occupation: Berserker
Luxury Item: Teddy Bear
"Damn, this is going to sweet. Me and Pike and Krim playing at war
against all the others. Oooohhh, I hope we go up against Strongbow. We'll
kick his ass back to the Pleistocene! Oh, oh damn, what if Pike isn't in
my tribe? I mean, I could handle it without Krim, but Pike and I have to
be together. It won't be any fun without him."
KRIM
Birthplace: Wayfair
Occupation: Butch Bitch
Luxury Item: Kahvi's Gut-Wrapped Spear
"It's not war, but it should be almost as fun. I hope I get I go up
against Moonshade. That bitch made me tan hides in fermenting pots of Kahvi-knows-what
did she? Well it's rematch time, sweety!"
ZHANTEE
Birthplace: Sorrow's End
Occupation: Baby-faced Yes-Man
Luxury Item: Potter's Wheel
"Finally, a chance to prove myself as a useful tribemember. I can't
wait. This sounds like so much fun - just me and the tribe and this wonderful
new island to explore. No, I'm not worried about the challenges or anything.
That's the great thing about challenges *looks wistfully at the clouds*
- you can rise to them."
RAYEK
Birthplace: Sorrow's End
Occupation: Surly Know- It-All
Luxury Item: Ornate Jewellry that Can Be Altered
Into A MacGuyverish Tool
"This seems a paltry waste of my talents, but at least I stand a fairly
good chance of humiliating Cutter once and for all. Pray High Ones that
I'm not on the same tribe as that barbarian."
VENKA
Birthplace: Wayfair
Occupation: Goddess
Luxury Item: A Virginia Henley Romance Novel
"This should prove a most interesting experiment. I look forward to
seeing how our tribe fares in competition. Of course, as I do not as yet
know which tribe I will be a part of, I can make no predictions as to how
I will personally fare. I do hope however, that I will be in the same tribe
as Father... and perhaps Zhantee..."
AROREE
Birthplace: Blue Mountain
Occupation: Professional Weeper
Luxury Item: Strand of Skywise's Hair
"I hope my little love will be with me. If not... I clipped a little
piece of his hair to remind me of him. I believe in being prepared - and
I know I can use this to my advantage in the challenges to come. *Sigh*
I only hope that my little love will be with me. We've had so little time
together since he came back."
MENDER
Birthplace: Sorrow's End
Occupation: Male Nymphomaniac
Luxury Item: His Little Black Book
"Damn I hope I'm in Ember's tribe. I'm just starting to get somewhere
with her. Maybe if we get away from Cutter I'll finally really score.
Now... I wouldn't mind being in a tribe with Leetah... she always seems
to want me and Ember to... enjoy the fruits of life... *lascivious wink*
if you know what I mean. But then if I'm on the same tribe as Leetah, Ember
might figure out I'm trying to score with her mom too."
THE WILD HUNT
EMBER
Birthplace: Sorrow's End
Occupation: Uppity Teenager
Luxury Item: Keys to the Teir's Luxury Trailer
"All I know is that I'm going to be chief of one tribe, and my father
will be chief of another tribe. I hope my tribemates will prove themselves
in the coming weeks, and I hope that I can prove myself a good chief. To
think, all these years I've waited to be a chief... and now... I don't
think I really want it. Oh well, at least I can kick Daddy's ass for that
whole Palace flight to Sorrow's End incident."
LEETAH
Birthplace: Sorrow's End
Occupation: Busty Healer
Luxury Item: Frilly Pink Nightgown
"After living as a Wolfrider for so many years - yes I know it's only
nine because of the time warp - I'm sure I will have no problem adapting
to this new holt. And of course, I have many striking assets: my voluminous...
compassion, my swelling... conscience, and my firm, proud... um... you
know."
NIGHTFALL
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Polygamous Huntress
Luxury Item: Replacement Bandanas
"The Way teaches us that change in inevitable, so I will just have
to adjust to this new situation. My plan is to stay in the Now, keep my
eyes on the prize, and be true to myself. I don't know if I can really
plot against my chief and my lifemate, but if that is the new Way, I will
try to resign myself to it. Will I be the ultimate survivor? We'll just
have to see.
REDLANCE
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Emasculated Treeshaper
Luxury Item: An Anthology of Assorted Feminist
Literature
"My strategy is basically to hide in the background, play it as low-key
as I can, and do whatever Nightfall says. What if she's on the opposite
tribe....oh... gee, I hadn't thought about that."
MOONSHADE
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Self-Righteous Tanner
Luxury Item: A picture of Strongbow and Dart:
Book 2 Era.
"Dart, honey? Are you watching? Mommy's on Survivor! Of course I'm
a sure candidate to assume power once the game begins if I am placed in
Ember's tribe. Ember is still untried, she's just a bratty teenager, after
all! If I'm in Cutter's tribe... well, I've manipulated the situation before.
Who do you think convinced Strongbow to rebel back in Book 2? And Book
3? And... well, that's not important."
PIKE
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Giddy Wino
Luxury Item: Dreamberry seeds
"Well, let's see, I've got my dreamberries. I better have my Skot.
Yep, that's all I really need. This is gonna be one big party. What do
I bring to this game? Well, I think I can keep everyone grounded. Nightfall
and Moonshade and Cutter, they're all too serious. It's just a game after
all."
SCOUTER
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Professional Malcontent
Luxury Item: Huge Chip on Shoulder
"I don't care which tribe I'm on. I'm not about to take any crap from
my tribemates. I've got a pregnant wife and a lovemate who's always one
step away from leaving me for a giant bat-elf - when she's not hitting
on my pregnant wife! What's my strategy? I've got my eye on the Final Four
and I'll stop at nothing to get there. And if that means stepping on a
few toes, so be it."
TYLEET
Birthplace: Thorny Mountain
Occupation: Deferential Goody-Goody
Luxury Item: Little Patch's Headband
"Oh.. the baby just kicked. Now I know people say a pregnant woman
shouldn't be playing Survivor, but I'm ready to prove that I can play as
hard as anyone else. But I don't know if I can actually be backstabbing...
that's just not my way. It's like something I told my human cub Little
Patch..."
DEWSHINE
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Too-Cute-For-This-Planet
Luxury Item: Strawberry Bubble Bath
"What's my strategy? I plan to giggle a lot, keep my hair as golden
and curly as possible, sweetly smile everytime I watch my boyfriend get
busy with Tyleet, and then flirt with Tyleet every time Scouter turns his
back. And of course, if I can ingratiate myself to an older man who will
treat me like the daughter he never had - so much the better. Hey, I wonder
if I can get Father in my tribe - what beats the Single-Father-and-Daughter
alliance?"
SKYWISE
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Charming Rake
Luxury Item: The Lodestone
"Will I be the ultimate survivor? Well, I have been the most popular
ElfQuest character for 25 years now. I must be doing something right."
STRONGBOW
Birthplace: Father Tree
Occupation: Taciturn Wet-Blanket
*Strongbow declined to participate, claiming the game was a waste of
his talents as an elder. He also declined to be interviewed when it became
clear that he would have to actually speak in front of a camera.*