Episode 9: Flipping the Bird
Day 25 - 27 
Strongbow cometh.Thunder crashes over the Green Moon camp. Littlefire is curled up in a fetal ball, rocking back and forth and mumbling to himself as he tries to fall asleep. Savin is restless, watching the rain fall outside their shelter. In the distance she hears a familiar voice calling through the rain. “That almost sounds like Spar... is that Tyleet?” she asks the air.

Sure enough, the night-vision camera catch sight of the four remaining members of the Kumquat tribe emerging from the jungle. They are drenched to the skin and their clothes are torn by thorns and prickers. The members of Green Moon rush out to greet them. “Where’s Brightmetal?” They ask. “Where’s Swift?”

“Gone,” Cheipar admits sadly. “Winnowill,” he shrugs. “Double-council.”

Weatherbird rushes out of bed to hug Cheipar. They kiss. It is hot. Tyleet's eyes well with tears at the sight of the lovers reunited. Strongbow rolls his eyes. Just then, Littlefire comes barelling out of the shelter to tackle his brother. Nightfall embraces Strongbow and Tyleet, weeping “My eyes see with joy!” Spar surveys the newcomers with a critical eye. Coppersky stays in bed.

Savin: Gotta say, I did not expect the merge to happen in the middle of the night. And to lose Swift and Brightmetal at the same time. I feel... a little cut loose. Well... time to look on the bright side. We’re still leading six Alts to four Warps. And with Swift and Brightmetal out of the running... well, it will save me from making some tough decisions later.
“What happened to you?” Weatherbird asks a lacerated Cheipar. He only shrugs. Tyleet answers for him as she ducks up the palm-frond shelter and proceeds to wring out her hair. “The map... didn’t exactly give us a direct route. We ended up taking a little detour through some prickers.” Tyleet yelps as Spar throws her buff on Tyleet’s head and proceeds to towel off her hair.
Spar: (giggling) You’re all wet.

Savin: Yeah... Spar’s got this nasty little... detached-narsicissm thing going on with Tyleet there. Can’t tell whether she’s playing her... or whether she’s just... playing.

The four Kumquat refugees crowd in under the shelter and relate what happened at the double tribal council. Savin and the other Alternaverse elves bow their heads as they hear of Brightmetal and Swift’s dismissal. There is hardly room for everyone as they try to get to sleep. Cheipar spoons between Weatherbird and Littlefire. Crescent floats outside in the rain. Savin pointedly positions herself between Spar and Tyleet. Strongbow fights with Coppersky over the blankets.

Day 25 dawns as Savin hauls herself out of the shelter and bathes in the cloudy sea water. The rain has brought down branches and washed up logs on the beach. Cheipar is up a few minutes later, and he joins her on the beach as Savin pulls up her buff tube-top. **Crescent,** he sends. **Tyleet will follow her.**

Savin smiles and pats his back. “Good job, honey. Don’t worry. We’ll pick them all off one by one now.”

Meanwhile, Spar gets up to make a run for treemail. Tyleet follows behind cheerfully, eager to learn the geography of her new campsite. “I’m so glad Mother’s still here,” she announces. “You can’t imagine how worried I was you’d vote her out the last time you went to council.”

Spar turns and flashes Tyleet a wide grin. “Don’t worry. Nightfall won’t be going home – not if I have anything to say about it. And neither are you. We Sohns have to stick together, right?”

Tyleet: Damn. Damn, damn damndamndamn... I... never – ever thought I’d hear my soulname – in my own voice... on someone else’s lips. Damn. I mean... damn!
Spar and Tyleet find no treemail. Instead there’s a large chest with a lock on it. They try to lift it, then, failing, return to camp to enlist some muscle. “Should have kept Brightmetal,” Spar quips as she, Strongbow, Coppersky and Cheipar lift the chest and carry it back to camp. Cheipar produces the key the Kumquat tribe received the night before, and to no one’s surprise, it fits in the lock. They open the chest to find ten new aquamarine buffs, a blank tribe flag, painting supplies, and several bags of Frito-Lays chips.

After breakfast of Doritos and Cheetos, they get to work on their new tribe flag. “We need a new name,” Savin says. “Something... unifying.”

Crescent: (shrugging) AltWarp?
Strongbow snorts audibly. Crescent flinches. “We’re all noticing the tension between Crescent and Strongbow,” Savin reports later. “It’s a good sign for us.”

At length they decide to name themselves the Two Moons tribe. “It’s derivitive,” Coppersky says. “And predictable. But the Warp elves like the symbolism, and it’s nice and non-threatening. We wouldn’t want to upset the poor things before we start voting them off.”

They paint their flag with two white crescents, and a bold title proclaiming their new name. The chips are promptly devoured as the elves soon take to lying about camp, waiting for some new treemail to announce the next challenge. Strongbow becomes restless as the heat grows more intense at midday. “We’re all nervous,” Crescent says. “No one knows what to expect anymore. So we’ll just... sit... and wait... and see what happens. There’s really nothing else we can do.”

Littlefire: Cheipar is here, so I’m happy. Strongbow is here, so I’m not. Crescent is here, so I’m indifferent.
The scent of a corruptible innocent is like catnip to Spar.As the afternoon wears on, Nightfall, Spar and Tyleet bathe in the sea just beyond the tribe’s beach. “I know you’re worried,” Spar tells them. “You have every right to be. We’ve always voted along tribal lines in the past. But it’s different now. It’s the merge. And the three of us... we’re family. We’re... a twisted kind of a family, but we are. And if you two will stick by me, I’ll stick by you. Strongbow and Crescent are easier targets – it won’t take much to turn Savin against them. Savin and Coppersky are the top dogs here. For now.”

“But Coppersky is your ally,” Nightfall protests gently.

Later Spar tells the camera her plan. “See... Coppersky is trying to decide where his best interests lie. And he’s made it pretty clear that if it’ll help him, he’ll dump Savin and throw his lot in with these Warpers. And if it’ll help him, well... then he’ll dump me and kiss some serious booty with Savin. And I’ve got to look out for myself. And if I’m gonna last in this game, well... I might have to dump Coppersky.”

Nightfall: I don’t know what to make of Spar. She sounds like my Sohn. She sends like my Sohn. But she’s not. I don’t know what she is. And I don’t know if I can trust her. She’s talking about us making an alliance with Strongbow and Crescent against the Alternaverse elves. And if she can turn Coppersky... well, you know, it could work. We’d be six against four. And then Spar, and me, and Tyleet and Coppersky, we’d go to Final Four. I don’t know. But hell, what do I have to lose at this point?
Spar is spotted talking to Coppersky as the day wears on. “An alliance with them,” she whispers. “I can keep both of them in line. We’ll go Final Four with them... then take them out and go Final Two just us. What’d you say?”

The tribes share a tense supper of coconut popcorn and shellfish. Strongbow complains about the stew. Tyleet gets too close to Littlefire as she reaches for more, and the Glider starts pulling at his hair. “Don’t,” Weatherbird warns when Tyleet reaches for him. “Just leave him.” Strongbow locksends something that makes Nightfall laugh, and the Alternaverse elves glare at the Warp elves, convinced the joke was at their expense. It is a tense night under the shelter’s palm fronds.

Day 26 dawns slowly. Strongbow has moved out from under the shelter’s roof to doze on the beach. He rolls over, yawning softly, and opens his eyes to find himself face-to-face with Winnowill. “GAAAGH!” he exclaims, jumping to his feet. Winnowill beams at the elves as they all jump out of their bedrolls, groping for their makeshift weapons.

“Good morning, everyone. How is the merge coming along? All friends now? Good, good,” she beams. “Well, I hate to get up before breakfast, but it’s time for the immunity challenge.”

The groggy tribemembers assemble on the beach after the commercial break and find ten pillars sunk into the sand about ten feet out from shore. “Oy,” Coppersky rolls his eyes. “Not the old ‘see how long you can stay standing in the merciless sun while the host eats gourmet finger foods under your nose’ challenge.”

Winnowill: ‘Fraid so. It’s in the contract. Now, who’s got the immunity idol? Ah, Savin. Over here, please. The days of tribal immunity are over. From now on (produces Bearclaw’s wolfshead necklace) you’ll be fighting for this. Individual immunity and safety from tomorrow’s tribal council. But this is a reward challenge as well. And the winner of today’s challenge gets to spend the rest of today relaxing at a lovely spa just two islands over.
The elves cheer. They are all looking somewhat worse for the wear now. Winnowill motions for them to take their places on the stumps. “The challenge is on now,” she announces. “You can stretch, you can squat, but your feet have to be on the stump at all times. No kneeling, no sitting. Last one standing wins.”

Littlefire yawns and gets down from his perch. “And just like that, Littlefire is out! Less than thirty seconds!” Winnowill announces. But Littlefire is in no mood to be interviewed. He flies back to the shelter and goes back to sleep. Weatherbird and Cheipar chuckle. Coppersky, Strongbow and Nightfall exchange meaningful glances.

The first hour ticks by uneventfully. Spar and Tyleet practice simple yoga stretches. Coppersky cleans his nails. Strongbow and Cheipar meditate. Savin yawns repeatedly. As the sun climbs higher in the sky, Winnowill orders a daiquiri and a sun umbrella.

Nightfall: I hate you. You know that, don’t you. I hate you so much.

Winnowill: And the temperature is up to 89 degrees already. And it’s not even ten o’clock. How’s the humidity treating you, Spar?

Spar: (forcing a smile) I just keep thinking about that spa, Winnowill.
Two hours pass. Then three. Spar is shifting from one foot to the other miserably. Savin his struggling to massage her aching shoulders. Tyleet seems faint from sunstroke. Winnowill orders a deep dish pizza and offers to share it with anyone who wants to quit. Spar remains standing while Winnowill tucks into the first slice. But when she offers to share with the troll stagehands instead, Spar dives into the water and swims ashore. Tyleet hesitates, but when only one last piece of pizza remains, her resolve shatters and she steps down as well.

Three hours pass. The temperature is now in the triple digits. Coppersky is zen. Strongbow is starting to scratch at his sunburn. Cheipar studies the faces of his remaining competitors. Winnowill brings out a giant banana split with hot fudge and chopped walnuts. Weatherbird and Cheipar exchange glances and dive into the water. Littlefire finally wakes up and comes over looking for something to eat. Spar gives him the cold shoulder, but Cheipar beckons him over and offers him one of the bananas.

Four hours pass. Strongbow seems to be in agony. Nightfall appears to be entering a state of altered consciousness. Savin’s fair skin is lobster red from sun exposure. Coppersky remains zen. So does Crescent.

Winnowill orders three pitchers of cold drinks. Spar and Tyleet get tipsy on cocktails and start flirting. Weatherbird studies the little mini drink-umbrellas intently. Littlefire stretches out and takes a nap, his head in Cheipar’s lap. A plate of spicy chicken wings appears next to Winnowill, and Savin surrenders her place.

It is now the middle of the afternoon. Nightfall looks dangerously ill. Strongbow is being stoic. Crescent and Coppersky eye each other suspiciously. Winnowill gleefully announces that the temperature has just hit 120. Nightfall swoons and nearly falls. **Bearclaw’s beard, step down!** Strongbow sends. **Don’t kill yourself.**

“I’m fine... I’m fine,” Nightfall wipes the sweat from her brow. She squats down and hugs her knees, struggling to breath. She rocks back and falls back on her tailbone. “Nightfall, disqualified!” Winnowill announces. “Come in and stop torturing yourself. We all know you’re hardcore.”

Nightfall slips into the water, but can barely swim ashore. Tyleet and Spar fish her out while Cheipar orders some Gatorade from the passing troll waiter. After some emergency hydration, Nightfall recovers and curls up in the shade between her two daughters.

Six hours have passed. Seven. Coppersky, Strongbow, and Crescent seem ready go on into the night. “So, Coppersky, what will it take to get you hop down?” Winnowill asks.

“Immunity,” Coppersky replies. “Or Sust. I’d step down for Sust.”

“And Strongbow, what about you?”

Strongbow does not answer. “Is he asleep?” Winnowill asks.

Crescent shakes her head. “He’s retreated inward, I think.”

Eight hours have passed. The sun is hanging low in the sky, throwing a harsh glare in the three competitors eyes. Coppersky shifts uncomfortably on his perch. “This is ridiculous,” he overheard muttering. Strongbow is visibly drawn. Crescent is unfazed.

“Hey, Cres, you can’t enjoy a spa,” Coppersky mumbles. “Why don’t you just step down? No one’s voting for you tomorrow anyway.”

Crescent does not move. At length Coppersky shrugs and steps off the pillar. He dogpaddles ashore and curls up into a fetal ball under the umbrellas. Only Strongbow and Crescent remain. Strongbow is overheard sending to Crescent, **I need this more than you. Please, daughter.**

Crescent nods and steps down. After nine hours, Strongbow is declared the winner. “Congratulations, Strongbow,” Winnowill says, hanging the immunity necklace around his neck. “I bet this fulfills a fantasy or two of yours, hey? The jeep’s on its way to take you to the spa. But it would be such a shame to enjoy all this luxury by yourself. So you get to pick a friend to share it with you.”

Strongbow looks over the assembled elves. Crescent, Nightfall and Tyleet all look hopeful. But instead Strongbow sends, **Coppersky.**

The jeep arrives to take them away. Crescent and the other Warp elves exchange puzzled glances. Spar broods, as does Savin. It is almost sunset, and they are all exhausted. There will be time for plotting later.

The jeep takes Strongbow and Coppersky to a helipad, and the waiting chopper flies them over the jewel-blue sea to a small private island several miles away. There a gleaming white compound with swimming pools and tennis courts is waiting for them.

The regimen is positively decadent. First comes a shower and soak in a mineral bath. Then a deep tissue massage and exfoliation. Strongbow balks at the idea of the massage, but eagerly allows the masseur to pumice of all his sunburn skin. Coppersky indulges in the full treatment, including avacado mask and manicure.

Strongbow:**You know, I don’t mind you at all. Most of the Alternaversers are insufferable rip-offs. But you... you’re reasonably inoffensive.**
Coppersky: Everyone else has too much baggage. They’re all related to someone important. Me... I’m just Vurdah and Ahnshen’s baby boy.
**But you are a prick.**

“Yeah, I know. It's my signature. ”

Seriously, never trust anyone this good-looking.**So,** Strongbow sends. **I know Brightmetal had an alliance with you once. Now that he’s gone, who are you standing by?**

“Don’t know yet. Gotta see how the winds blow. Spar’s got this notion of allying with Nightfall and Tyleet, and going to Final Four. We could get you final five... but somehow I don’t think you’re willing to settle for that.”

**What do you make of Spar?**

“She’s manipulative and idle. I like her. Problem is, she never thinks things through. It’s that Now of Wolf-thought. No offense.”

**None taken. So... Spar is the weak link, is she?**

“No weaker than Tyleet. I’d be quite willing to join with you and Nightfall and drop either Spar or Tyleet for five, then take the other into four.”

**What about Crescent?**

Coppersky smiles. “Do you really want her getting too far ahead in this game? You know she could take this whole thing if we don’t watch her carefully.”

**You have a point... but I will not simply... abandon her.”

Coppersky shrugs. “Then we’ll drop both redheads. Take Crescent to Final Four. And pray to the High Ones that she doesn’t win every immunity challenge out there, because if she does, she’ll annihilate us.”

Strongbow chews his lip thoughtfully. **And Savin?**

“Savin’s a good den mother. But when it comes down to it, she’ll stand by Weatherbird. Weatherbird’s her granddaughter. And Weatherbird’ll stand by Cheipar and Littlefire. They’ve already got their foursome planned, and I don’t fit into it.”

**Littlefire does not belong here.**

“No, he doesn’t,” Coppersky agrees eagerly. “But he’s gotten this far because he has powerful allies. And Savin and Weatherbird and Cheipar... they’d rather vote with their hearts than their heads.”

**I see the distinct possibility of an alliance with him,** Strongbow sends to the camera later. **It’s clear we need someone from the Alternaverse to survive. And Coppersky seems the right choice.**

Back at Camp Two Moons, Spar and Tyleet sit up in a secluded grove, watching the stars come out. “Coppersky is going to turn Strongbow against you,” Spar says. “Or Strongbow will turn Coppersky against me. I can see it now. ‘We don’t need them both,’ they’ll say. ‘One daughter of Nightfall is as good as another.’ We can’t let that happen, Tyleet. We have to stick together.”

 “We will,” Tyleet says fervently. “We’ll like... twins, the two of us.”

“Something a little more than twins, I think, Sohn,” Spar says, her voice taking on a suggestive tone.

Tyleet: Damn damn damn damndamn...
“What do you think Strongbow and Coppersky are up to?” Weatherbird asks Cheipar. When he shrugs, she continues, “I think they’re planning to stab us in the back and take out Littlefire. I think we need to take Coppersky out first.”

Savin stargazes on the beach. “I miss my lifemate,” she whispers to the everpresent camera. “I miss my girls – Quicksilver and Yun. I miss being home.”

Day 27 dawns as Strongbow and Coppersky return to camp, well-fed and impeccably groomed. Spar keeps fondling Coppersky’s hair enviously, while Nightfall and Crescent marvel at Strongbow’s fresher complexion. But the greetings soon die out as the all remember the impending tribal council. It is the time to start forming up alliances.

Weatherbird and Cheipar discuss their options with Littlefire. “It’s looking like Coppersky, Nightfall or either Spar or Tyleet,” Weatherbird says. “Any one of them is ready to go.”

“What about Strongbow?” Littlefire asks. “I want Strongbow gone.”

“Sorry, honey,” Weatherbird says. “He has immunity, remember? The challenge yesterday.”

Spar and Tyleet return to their little grove and plan their attack. “I don’t know if we can trust Coppersky,” Spar says. “He and Strongbow together... it’s not a good mix.”

Tyleet nods. “Strongbow used Cutter, and then he used Brightmetal, and now he’s using Coppersky. He might put up with us, but I don’t think he’ll ever learn to see us as equals.”

Spar smiles. “Why don’t we throw a little dust in his eyes, hmm? He may have immunity, but his new best friend doesn’t.”

“But you have an alliance with Coppersky!”

“I don’t think I can trust him anymore.” Her eyes shine as she dreams up a new strategy. “Think about it, Sohn. We’ll take down Coppersky. Then Strongbow. We’ll win Savin’s and the others’ approval. Then we’ll whittle them down one by one. And we’ll go into Final Four you, me, Nightfall and Crescent. An alliance of women. What do you say?”

Tyleet beams. “An alliance of women... I like that.” She blushes. “I like you.”

“Of course you do,” Spar smiles. She leans in close and whispers, “I’m you, Sohn.”

Evil lesbian doppelganger syndrome strikes again.Tyleet flushes deep and tries to withdraw, but Spar catches a fistful of red hair and kisses her fiercely on the mouth.

Their bargain sealed, the two Sohns go on the offensive as the morning turns to afternoon. “So I’ve promised Coppersky and Strongbow that we’ll go for Littlefire,” Spar explains to the camera. “But I’ve got Tyleet to convince her mother and Crescent to vote for Coppersky instead. So that’s four votes there... and if I can Cheipar... well, Weatherbird and Littlefire will follow.”

“It’s for the best, Mother,” Tyleet insists to Nightfall. “You weren’t on the Kumquat tribe, you didn’t see how Strongbow and Brightmetal turned the game on its head without us even noticing. Ask Crescent. She’ll tell you. And Coppersky and Strongbow could be just as dangerous.”

Nightfall: I’m really beginning to worry about Spar and Tyleet. There’s something... odd going on between those two. My daughter’s been a vulnerable place right now, and Spar’s taking advantage of her.

Tyleet: (giggling) Can you get a crush on yourself? I know, I know... I’m getting way ahead of myself. This is just a game... just a game... but you can’t help but wonder...
Spar: Am I using her? Of course. Am I having fun doing it? Hell, yeah. And so is she. I don’t see why everyone thinks this is so strange.
Tyleet and Crescent sit together and talk. “Coppersky?” Crescent frowns. “I don’t know... I don’t really know him. All I know is I’m getting sick of Father pledging his devotion to me, then making all these deals behind my back.”

Goaded by Tyleet, Crescent confronts Strongbow later, and he insists that everything is going according to plan. **You, me, Nightfall and the Sun Folk lad to Final Four. I’m looking out for both of us, daughter. Have faith in me. We’ll vote out the Glider lad tonight – it will be a mercy – he does not belong here. And then we will weed out the others. Trust me, Crescent. I’m doing all this for us.**

Savin: I haven’t been approached by anyone yet. But I’m not worried. Weatherbird is taking the pulse of this tribe. It’s going to be interesting, I can tell you that.
Spar finds Cheipar making a water run in the mid-afternoon. “Isn’t it strange that Coppersky has always been about voting along the old tribe lines, and now he’s suddenly in bed with Strongbow?” she asks. “I don’t know what kind of game he is playing, but I don’t want to be blindsided by him, do you?”

Cheipar nods thoughtfully. Then he smiles and pats Spar’s shoulder. “I’ll talk to Weatherbird.” Spar returns to Tyleet in triumph, convinced that Coppersky is going home at dusk. Cheipar does not search for his lifemate, however, but seeks out Coppersky.

“Spar just flipped you,” he murmurs in passing as they cross paths.

Coppersky:(righteously enraged) Oh no you di’n’t!
As the sun sets, the Two Moons Tribe readies for tribal council. Spar and Tyleet are beaming as they ready their packs. Savin is reserved. Crescent is conflicted. Strongbow takes Nightfall aside and locksends to her urgently. The ominous nature footage of spiders consuming their prey plays for the audience.

“Welcome, Two Moons tribe,” Winnowill says as they file into tribal council. “Strongbow, I see you’re still holding on the immunity necklace. Now, you have the option of passing it to someone else, if you’d like. Or you can keep it and guarantee your place on this tribe.”

Strongbow:**I’m keeping it.**
Winnowill: So. Twenty-seven days. We’re at the merge. Next tribal council, you’ll be voting off your first member of the jury. The end is almost in sight. Cheipar, how do you deal with the stress?
Cheipar shrugs. Winnowill rolls her eyes. “Weatherbird, how about you?”
Weatherbird:  I just keep my ears open, and try to keep my feet on the ground.
“We have six Alternaverse elves and four Warp elves. You Alt elves could just pick the others off one by one. Savin, is that the plan?”
Savin: Like you said, Winnowill, the end is almost in sight. And at this stage, I think we have to give up the old tribal loyalties and concentrate on our own private alliances and our own interests.

Winnowill: Crescent, do you know of a voting bloc in place tonight?

Crescent: There’s always a voting bloc, Winnowill.

“And with that ominous declaration, it’s time to vote. You can go first, Crescent.”

The ten elves all vote one by one. Winnowill collects the votes and runs through the standard disclaimer. “Once the votes are read, the decision is final, the person voted out... yadda-yadda-yawn! Let’s get to the good part! First vote, Spar.”

Spar flinches to hear her name read. “Second vote,” Winnowill reads. “Coppersky. Third vote. Coppersky. That’s one vote Spar, two votes Coppersky. Spar. Two votes Coppersky, two votes Spar. Spar. Spar. Spar. That’s two votes Coppersky, five votes Spar.”

Spar is exchanging nervous glances with Tyleet and Nightfall. Winnowill unfolds the next vote. “And the first elf voted out of the new Two Moons tribe – Spar. That’s six votes, that’s enough. Spar, I’ll need you to bring me your torch.”

Spar hugs Tyleet goodbye, then kisses her softly on the mouth. She holds her head high as she goes to have her torch snuffed out. “Spar, the tribe has spoken,” Winnowill says. “It’s time for you go.”

Nightfall: (on voting for Spar) I’m sorry, but I have to do this. I have to look out for myself and my daughter.
Coppersky: (on voting for Spar) Turn on me, fine. I can accept that. But don't take me for a fool!
Spar disappears into the night. Tyleet begins to cry. Coppersky exchanges smug glances with Strongbow and Cheipar. “Well, this is a new development,” Winnowill says. “You can head back to camp. I’ll see you all tomorrow.”
 
 
SPAR’S LAST WORDS 
So who flipped me? Nightfall? Crescent? (pause) Cheipar. Dammit, Spar, never trust the quiet ones. Well, I’m sure you’re all very pleased with yourselves. But what goes around comes around. So you watch your back, all of you. This game is going to get ugly now. You take care of yourself, Tyleet. Kick some ass – I know you’ve got it in you.
 
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On to Episode Ten

Elfquest art copyright 2005 Warp Graphics, Inc.  Alternaverse art copyright 2005 Erin Roberts. Elfquest, its logos, characters, situations, all related indicia, and their distinctive likenesses are trademarks of Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved. Alternaverse characters and insanity copyright 2003 Jane Senese and Erin Roberts. Survivor, its logos, situations, distinctive phrases etc is sooo a trademark of Mark Burnett, CBS, and probably several others too. All rights reserved. This is just a spoof. This is just a spoof.