Episode Four: Nightmares and Nightgowns
(Day 10-12)
The impractically of wearing a nightgown on safari escapes our healer."We had a total party at our camp after we won immunity," Skywise says on the morning of Day 9. "We had a blast knowing that the other tribe would be the one going to tribal council. And then Leetah starts swanning around in that stupid pink nightgown, and expected everyone to pay attention to her. All the guys hooted and cat-called to give her an ego trip, but as soon as we settled into strategy with Nightfall and Scouter, she got all huffy and stomped off." The tension between the stargazer and the healer builds until on Day 10 Skywise reveals he voted for Leetah at the last tribal council. "Of course I voted for her," he snaps to the camera. "She's been pushing every one of my buttons since we got here."
Leetah: Don't ask me what's wrong with Skywise. If I didn't know better, I'd say he had PMS.

Ember: If those two don't stop it soon, I'm going to steal Skywise's faceguard in the night and cut Mother's nightgown to shreds. We just finally got our act together. I'm not about to let them screw it up.

Over at the Wolfriders' camp, the elves slowly adjust to losing one of their own. "It was very hard," Venka admits. "I have nothing but respect for Aroree. But she was our weak point, and we all knew it." Clearbrook agrees, but says that knowledge doesn't make it any easier. "We lived by the Way at Thorny Mountain. We welcomed everyone. And now we have to vote people out simply because they aren't the right kind of person for the moment's crisis. We're supposed to support each other, not cut each other down."

By sunrise on Day 10 the Wolfriders slowly return to their daily routine. Troubles with the little ocean canoe continue, as no one is used to paddling boats. "I don't trust that water-leaf," Treestump says. "It always flips over and goes the wrong way. We're much better off casting our nets in the surf."

Venka: Cutter and Rayek went out fishing together, and apparently the water-leaf capsized. Cutter is convinced that Rayek tried to kill him by flipping it on purpose. But of course my father didn't try to kill him. I think the stress is just affecting Cutter's judgement.

Rayek: Yeah, so I tried to drown Cutter today. But the little bastard didn't want to go under. Ehh, what are you going to do?

Zhantee spends most of his time swimming, to the detriment of his duties. "We really need everyone working," Clearbrook sighs. "Now that we've lost Aroree, each moment of our tribe needs to work that much harder." This view is shared by others, as Zhantee find when he returns back to camp.
Zhantee: I really don't think I deserved the tongue-lashing I got. Treestump and Cutter kept telling me I have this responsibility to the tribe. And Skot is growling that I left him all the work. Rayek tried to stick for me, but I think Cutter was still mad at him for the whole "trying to kill him" incident, so that didn't work much. But I kinda wish Venka would have said something.
At the reward challenge the Wolfriders pair off with the Wild Hunt for wrestling matches. The Wolfriders win, the hightlights being when Venka pins Dewshine and Pike pins Skot. "I don't know who the hell decided to pair them together," Skywise sighs afterwards. "I mean Pike won the match, and more power to us. But they seemed to be having way to much fun to be competing. I had to have Cutter's sweaty arms in my face, and Pike gets to have a tumble with his lifemate! And why the hell didn't we have any mud for the Dewshine and Venka match?" The Wolfriders, who win the majority of the matches, are treated to a "authentic Beacon luau." After an hour long drive through the scrub forest in a XL SUV, they arrive in a large clearing where four Beacon tribal dancers wearing ancient shamanistic grass skirts adorned with traditional pirate necklaces which were once used as divining badges as a prelude to the prehistoric cannibalistic rituals that were once practiced on this island danced for the tribe of elves.
Zhantee: It was so wonderful. Just seeing these dancers performing these time-honoured dances for us while we eat traditional Beacon cuisine took my mind off all the problems back at camp. Suddenly all the back-biting and name-calling seemed years away, and we were all a unified tribe all over again. It's moments like these that make this survivor experience the most... *tearful choke* magical time of my life.

Cutter: Drukk, that was soooo unbelievably boring.

Skot: So boring.

Treestump: Longest 45 minutes of my life.

Rayek: The most revoltingly saccharine foray I have ever been on - and I went to Tyleet's baby shower!

Back at the Wild Hunt, a disaster strikes. Ember and Nightfall take the boat out in an attempt to spearfish around the coral reefs, but unpredictable waves and poor paddling skills result in the boat crashing up boat against the sharp coral. "I was just eating some dreamberries when they staggered back into camp, soaked through to the skin, sporting a few cuts on their knees," Pike says. "Leetah freaked out and started weeping over Ember, then finally remembered to heal them up. It looks like they broke the boat while they were out fishing, and it sank somewhere in the reef. Too bad. We could have really used that boat."

Ember expresses frustration at sinking the tribe's boat.

Nightfall: If Zhantee were on our tribe, he could swim down at get it. But none of us can sheild ourselves in water, and the water's too deep. If Rayek were here he could float it out - but we'll just after to accept it and move on.

Redlance: No point in crying over spilled milk.

Ember: Drukk it, drukk it, DRUKK IT!

Scouter: Oh, that was mature.

Ember and her tribe try to keep morale high by strategizing for the next immunity challenge, which Teir hinted would be the reverse of the "brawn"-heavy reward challenge. "I think that means it's going to be some sort of mental challenge," says Ember. "And, frankly, if it is, we're pretty much a shoe-in. We could really use another win at immunity."

The immunity challenge proves to be a memory game, in which the teams have to complete a puzzle of a traditional Beacon tapesty based on several sets of pictograms that each tribe member had to memorize individually. "The goal is to combine your own series of pictures with those of your tribemembers, and assemble them into the larger tapesty puzzle," Teir explains. The Wild Hunt assumed an early lead once the tribemembers came together at the puzzle. At the Wolfriders' puzzle-station, Treestump's failing memory and Cutter's poor spatial skills hampered their progress. "Cutter can't read a map to save his life, which is basically what this is all about," Clearbrook explains. "And my lifemate... well, he's as thick as he looks. There's really no defense, I know."

Skot: Wait... what were we supposed to assemble here?

Mender: The game made no sense. I can't believe humans on Beacon actually play this for fun.

Dewshine: Immunity! Hey, someone get a picture of me jumping around all giddy!

The Wolfriders' puzzle is still a jumble of tapesty swatches when the Wild Hunt claims the Little Palace as the immunity idol. The Wild Hunt return to camp to celebrate while the Wolfriders consider losing their second member in a row. "It was a very difficult walk back to camp," Venka says. "I knew several people wanted to vote my lovemate Zhantee out for his recent behaviour which Cutter described as 'damned touchy-feely fairy sh*t'. But the fact is Treestump cost us that challenge. We have enough brawn on our team, and we really can't afford to get rid of the brains."

A light mist was falling when the Wolfriders arrive at the tribal council on the evening of Day 12. Teir asks them about the recent tension in their tribe, and Zhantee confesses that he feels a certain urgency. "I know a lot people are mad at me for going off to go swimming, and I promise to do my fair share - I'd never want to be accused of slacking. But I also want everything o remember that this isn't just a ruthless game. We should be bonding as a tribe."

The Wolfriders withdraw to vote, and when Teir reads the vote aloud, there are four votes for Treestump, three for Zhantee, one for Skot, and one for Cutter. Treestump appears disoriented when the final votes are read, and Teir must call him twice before he comes up to have his torch extinguished.

"The tribe has spoken," Teir says as he snuffs out Treestump's flame. "It's time for you to leave."
 
TREESTUMP'S LAST WORDS
Well...if that's the way it is... that's the way it is. I still... don't quite... get it, but I'll go along with what the tribe says. Um... frankly I think it should have been Zhantee, but from the looks of the vote, it'll probably be his turn soon. Heh, I can guess... Rayek probably voted for Cutter. Don't know who voted for Skot... hmm.. ah well. I guess... I'll go now.

On to Episode Five
Back



Elfquest art copyright 2002 Warp Graphics, Inc. Elfquest, its logos, characters, situations, all related indicia, and their distinctive likenesses are
trademarks of Warp Graphics, Inc. All rights reserved. Survivor, its logos, situations, distinctive phrases etc is sooo a trademark of Mark Burnett, CBS, and probably several others too. All rights reserved. This is just a spoof. This is just a spoof.