Recovering from
their third straight loss in the a row, the Warp elves return to camp to
find that Kahvi did not properly dispose of the scraps from supper. “There
were rats everywhere!” Skywise exclaims.
Kahvi: (huffy) Well, I’m sorry! But it’s not my fault! No one showed me how we had to get rid of our leftovers. I’m from the frozen north. We just throw our scraps into the snow. By the time spring thaw comes around, the lemmings have already eaten it all. And now we’ve got rats, and everyone’s picking on Kahvi. Look on the bright side of things! I say it just means we’ve got more food.
“Kahvi
won’t take responsibility for anything,” Cutter complains. “She’s dragging
this whole tribe down.” Nightfall and Crescent, however, see matters differently.
“I think Cuttre is just looking to blame someone,” Crescent says. “I don’t
know whether it’s the game, or whether he’s paranoid by nature. But I do
remember Bearclaw had quite the persecution complex when I was still alive,
so maybe it’s genetic.”
Tension mounts throughout the night. Scouter and Skywise are seen muttering to each other at dawn, while Kahvi is aware of cold shoulders when she goes for water. “I get water every morning,” she says. “No one ever asks – I just do it. Does anyone every thank me? No!”
Finally, some cannot take the tenion any longer. Crescent, Nightfall and Strongbow organize a conference at midmorning. “I suppose we’ve becoming the Coalition of the Unwilling,” Crescent opens. “Unwilling to be paranoid, unwilling to be mercenary. Everyone is so busy plotting against everyone else. No one thinks beyond the next tribal council, and who’ll get voted off next. No wonder we keep losing to the Alternaverse elves.”
Nightfall: We’re sick of this constant warfare. It’s too early in the game to be picking each other off like this. And we’re not going to be winning anything unless we start working as a real tribe. So let’s forget about the cameras and the challenges and act like real Wolfriders.The elves all agree – grudgingly in some cases – to devote more energy to tribal unity. “It’s a new day for us here at Camp Warp,” Cutter says. “We’re going to concentrate on getting through the next few days, winning some challenges. That’s all. Nightfall’s right. We have to recapture the Now.”Strongbow:**Yes. Let’s pick the other tribe clean before we turn on each other.**
Meanwhile, over at Camp Alternaverse, the first cracks are beginning to appear in their tribal unity. “Spar and Gypsy aren’t doing any work,” Savin sighs miserably. “And Kit and Littlefire... they want to be useful. But they haven’t a clue what to do. I don’t know. Somedays I feel Swift and Cheipar and I are the only ones who are really taking this game seriously.”
Spar: I don’t know what Savin’s problem is. We’re doing well. Cheipar and Coppersky are keeping us in food. We’ve been winning every challenge that’s come our way. Frankly, I don’t see why I should wear myself out trying to look busy when I could be resting up for the next challenge.“I don’t think it’s that Spar is lazy,” Swift tells the camera. “It’s just that she does things her own way. And... well... her way includes a lot of lying around, a lot of manipulation of elves who don’t know any better, and a fair amount of defying orders from her chieftain.”
The tribe meets for their reward challenge. Winnowill gloats as she
unveils the reward: two bows, and two quivers full of arrows, plus an extra
dagger, and a spear. “All these can be yours. And all you need to do is
win in a good old fashioned target practice.” There are eighteen bull’s
eyes targets set up. Each tribemember gets one arrow and one shot. A bull’s
eye counts for two points, any hit on the target counts for one. Most points
win. Since the Warp tribe has only eight members, two of its members must
shoot twice. They select Nightfall and Strongbow.
The challenge begins in earnest. Swift misses the bull’s eye, but hits the target. Cutter likewise. Savin misses. Skywise scores a glancing hit. Nightfall hits a bull’s eye twice. So does Strongbow. Kit scores a bull’s eye. So does Cheipar. Brightmetal misses. So does Kahvi. Scouter hits the target, but not the center. Crescent hits a bull’s eye. “Bloody telekinesis,” Coppersky grumbles. Coppersky hit’s a bull’s eye. Weatherbird misses the center but scores one point. Littlefire misses by a country mile. So does Tyleet. Spar scores one point. Gypsy Moth is the last elf up. She misses.
Winnowill: So, for the Alternaverse elves, we have... 9 points. Warp elves have... 13 points! Warp tribe wins their first challenge.The Warp tribe cheers and embraces each other with joy before rushing up to claim their prizes. The Alternaverse tribe nod politely in congratulations, then head back to camp. “It’s all right,” Swift can be overheard to say. “They needed it more anyway. It’s all good. It’s all good.”
Cutter: We are back! Warp rules! Go Poughkeepsie!
Strongbow:**Oh, I’ve missed a good bow and arrows. We are going to be well-fed tonight, I promise you.**At the Alt camp, the elves are sulking after their defeat. “It seems Gypsy, Spar and Coppersky are curing their depression with a little... solar therapy,” Brightmetal chuckles. Sure enough, the three muskateers are back at word on their respective tans.
“It was rigged,” Spar laments to the camera. “Nightfall, Strongbow and Crescent? Of course they’d win. We tried our best, and I know Kit and Cheipar gave it there all.”
Coppersky: Ahem.
Spar: (bored) Yeah, you were there too. Yeah, you hit a bull’s eye. You always do. What do you want, a freakin’ medal?
Coppersky: I wanna get laid.
Spar: We all do, honey.“Not good, not good,” Littlefire mumbles to himself as he works weaving palm fronds together. “I... I’m making a roof. I think. I... I don’t like it... no... we’ve lost now. We never lost before. Not good... inertia, you know? Momentum. I know these things. Objects at loss tend to remain at loss.”
Brightmetal: Yeah, I can never quite figure Littlefire out. He’s certainly no conversationalist.The elves at Camp Warp are revelling in their victory. By sundown, Strongbow and Nightfall have returned with a boar slung on a branch between them. “We feast!” Skywise shouts, and soon everyone has arrived. Kahvi struggles to coax their dying fire to live while the others tear into the boar and eat it raw.
Kahvi: Bloody savages.Scouter: So we haven’t been taking care of the fire. It’s not like we need a fire. Maybe Kahvi does. But we don’t.
Tyleet: I think we should make more of an effort to make Kahvi feel at home.The Wolfriders eat up with gusto. Scouter makes a face when he picks up a piece of meat and takes a bite. “This tastes like... ash,” he sputters. Crescent blushes. “Sorry,” she says. “I already had that one. I... it smelled so good. I know I don’t get hungry, but we had so much... I couldn’t help myself.”
Scouter grimaces and sets the meat aside. Kahvi picks it up and starts to cook it over the dying fire. “Char it enough and it all tastes the same,” she shrugs.
Skywise: It’s a good thing Crescent is so hot, because she’s starting to creep me out a little. It’s one thing to see a see a spirit, and talk to one and all. It’s another to have it competing in challenges and... voodooing all the taste out of food.A storm is brewing, and the tribe takes shelter inside their hut. Crescent sits out in the rain, looking glum. **I’m trying not to let my condition handicap me... but sometimes I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t fit in.**
Kahvi: Doesn’t she get cold or something?A harsh wind blows in from the sea, battering the shelter over at Camp Alt. The wind and rain demolish the roof, and the elves are forced to take shelter inside the mangroves. “Okay. Next item on the to-do list?” Savin announces over the sound of the rain. “Storm windows!”
Day 8 sees the Alt elves cleaning up. Heavy rains and a rising tide have completely reshaped their beach, and the shelter is in sorry shape. “We got some flooding going on,” Swift ruefully admits. “But we’re getting back to work. We’re doing well.”
Later in the day, Swift and Savin are spotted in close council by Spar and Gypsy Moth. “Something’s up,” Spar decides. “I bet they’re afraid we’ll lose tomorrow and they’re already making their picks for who’s going home.” Gypsy Moth only shrugs, and goes off for a swim.
Spar: I don’t know who decided Swift would stay chief anyway? Isn’t it everyone for themselves in this game?
Swift: (laughing) She is such a little bitch.Brightmetal thinks it over carefully for the camera. “Well, if I had to cut someone right now... I’d probably say Littlefire. He’s a sweetheart, but I just don’t know how much he can really help us in challenges, you know? But I don’t think it’ll be Littlefire, if we do have to vote tomorrow night. In fact... I’d say that after Swift and Savin, he’s the one in the best position right now.” He sits down and gestures the camera closer. “See... he’s got Kit, his lifemate; Cheipar, his brother; Weatherbird, his sister-in-law – all going to stand by him no matter what. That’s an alliance of four. And we’d have to all band together to take him down if we wanted to. And Swift and Savin would never go along with that. So, yeah, Littlefire is sitting pretty right now. He can afford not to do anything. Spar on the other hand, I think she ought to be playing this game a little more carefully. Help out a little more. You know... ‘cause I don’t think she could really count on a single ally here if Savin decided to take her out.”
Coppersky watches Brightmetal from the beach, where he lies tanning his back. **Brightmetal’s one to watch,** he sends for the camera. **He’s a lot sharper than he lets on. We might be able to work something out... but for now, I’m just going to keep my ears open. I’m not going to be teased into showing my hand too early on.**
Meanwhile, Camp Warp has given up the inter-tribal plotting to concentrate their gameplan on destroying the Alternaverse tribe. “All right, we’re going to go into that challenge tomorrow ready to win,” Cutter tells them. “I’m not prepared to lose another member. Strengths and weaknesses of the other tribe. Let’s see if we cannot find their weakest point. Who knows. This series is so desperate for new gimmicks, we might just get to take one of their members if we win another challenge. We have to be prepared.”
Nightfall: The... twitchy boy.Scouter agrees. “If it’s any kind of race or physical challenge, he’ll lag behind. They’ll probably sit him out again if they can. But I’m worried about the redhaired lad from Sorrow’s End. Copper-what’sis. He’s a threat in any physical challenge.”
Skywise: Don’t forget Brightmetal. He makes Treestump looks like a featherweight.
Tyleet: And isn’t he Winnowill’s grandson?The rest of the tribe agrees. Coppersky and Brightmetal are the greatest physical threats from the other tribe. When it comes time to appraising their mental attributes, the Warp tribe is left searching the laptop for evidence in Wingthing’s fanfics. “We haven’t had any real mental challenge yet, so we have to do the best guesswork we can,” Crescent admits. “But I’d say Swift and Savin are pretty formidable when you put them together.”
Strongbow: **Cheipar. He is our greatest threat**On the morning of Day 9, both tribes receive tree-mail. Winnowill wants them all on the beach for a challenge that will involve “great wisdom and wit.”Scouter: How can you tell? He never says anything.
Strongbow:**Exactly.**
Kit: Finally. Something for the literati to do.
Cheipar: (wrinkles his nose at camera, turns and walks away shaking head)The tribes meet and find themselves facing two large wordsearch puzzles made of thatched mats. “All right,” Winnowill announces. “There are 20 words hidden in each puzzle. They are all terms connected to this tropical paradise. You can read words forwards, backwards, up, down, diagonally. The catch – there’s no list of the words for you to follow. You just have to find them yourself in the puzzle. Now, one elf will be designated the official scribe, and use this novelty charcoal pencil,” she hoists a four-foot-tall piece of charcoal, “to circle the words. This sh*t doesn’t rub off well, so be careful, and don’t make mistakes. Choose your scribes carefully now.”
Both tribes figure out that the scribe only needs to follow directions. The Warp tribe picks Kahvi, while the Alt tribe picks Brightmetal – the strongest players in each tribe. Winnowill uncovers the wordsearches. “For immunity! Survivors ready? Go!”
Kit soon takes charge of the Alt tribe. “Malaria! There, second line, third letter in. M.” Meanwhile, over at the Warp word search, Skywise spots his first word. “There. No – there, Kahvi! Parasite. No – the next line.”
“Sunstroke!” Swift calls out. “Tsunami!” Kit shouts. “Discount – hey, I’ve got ‘Discount Sale’” Cutter yips excitedly. “Does that count as two words?”
The tribes work quickly. Kahvi and Brightmetal scramble to circle all the letters on the giant mats. “Fireant” “Malnutrition” “Tourist” “Trap” “Tainted” “Fever” “Stingray” “Scorpion” “Wal-Mart” “Insanity” “Mango” – the words are quickly being found. Soon most tribes slow as they struggle to piece together the last words. “Heat” “Pain” “Mosquito” “Allergy” “Lost” “Exploitation” – the Alternaverse elves are gaining a slight lead.
Crescent: Death! Look, death – right there!Coppersky: I think I’ve got “maggot” – wait... no, it’s just “maggo.” “Maggo?” That’s not a rare flower is it?
Tyleet: Rat!
Scouter: Where?
Tyleet: Huh? Oh, nothing, honey. I stepped on it. It’s dead now.The Alternaverse elves have 18 words. The Warp elves are closing the gap with 16 words. Swift finds “Poison.” Scouter points out “Haunted.” Suddenly Kit runs over to Brightmetal and whispers something his ear. He hurries to circle the final word.
Winnowill: And... “Rash!” Twenty words. Immunity – Alternaverse.
Cutter: Merciful drukk!“Yeah, we weren’t entirely gracious about it,” Skywise admits later. “Three immunities lost in a row. It’s bound to wear on our nerves a little.”
Cutter: The wolf will have blood! The. Wolf. Will. Have. BLOOD.The Alternaverse elves return to camp triumphant. The Warp elves face the spectre of another tribal council. Almost immediately the pledge for tribal unity collapses and the factions begin to scheme again.
“Now that Ember’s out of the way, this is the perfect time to ally with Cutter and get Kahvi out of the way,” Skywise tells Scouter. “You, Tyleet, me, Cutter, Nightfall. Even if Strongbow and Crescent are going to sit on the fence about it, we’ve got more than enough votes.”
Scouter: What about Cutter? He’s too much of a threat.
Skywise: We’ll take care of him. First Kahvi. Then Cutter. We’ll appeal to Strongbow’s pathological urge to rebel against his better judgement.Sure enough, Skywise and Scouter approach Cutter for an alliance. But Kahvi is watching. Sensing her former allies have turned on her, she immediately scouts out Crescent and Nightfall for a new alliance. “I know we’ve had our issues in the past, Nightfall. But, hey, we settled them, didn’t we? And that’s a mean right hook, you have, by the way. But I think an alliance of women is just what we need. Come on, honey. You and me... we could teach those boys a lesson they'd never forget.”
“I’ll never trust Kahvi,” Nightfall says. “Just as I’ll never forgive Rayek for what he did to our chief. But... I must admit, I don’t like what I’m seeing happen between Skywise and Scouter. They’re trying to control the board, and I’m not about to be one of their pawns. I learned my lesson last time.”
Scouter: Skywise thinks we’re allies. And we are. Until his usefulness is at an end. Then he’s nothing to me.The two factions are making themselves known as the day wears on. “Kahvi is trying to take Scouter out,” Nightfall says. “And I think she’s convinced Crescent that it’s for the good of the tribe. But I don’t think she’ll swing enough votes to pull it off.” Cutter, for his part, acknowledges he’s been approached by both Kahvi and Scouter. “They’re both dangerous. If we were in the woods, I’d cut both of them loose to fend for themselves. But... Scouter... I might need him in the days to come. Kahvi... I don’t know about her.”Skywise: Scouter thinks he’s like... teh sex or something. But I’ve got him right where I want him.
Kahvi: Racists! Hypocrites! I hope you all burn in Hell!The tribe treks to council. Winnowill is chortling with glee. “So. Three times in a row. Those Alternaverse elves are destroying you.”Crescent: She... really doesn’t know when to keep quiet, does she?
“Well, I don’t think that’s fair,” Cutter says. “We did win those weapons from them, and we’re already feeling better with some fresh meat in our bellies. The wind’s going to change, Winnowill. Wait and see.”
“This happens in every Survivor,” Skywise adds. “One tribe looks like it’s sitting pretty, while the other one gets its ass kicked. And then, suddenly everything flips, and that winning tribe goes from sitting pretty to sitting ducks.”
Winnowill: How poetic. So, Kahvi. You narrowly escaped last time. Feeling a little uneasy tonight?“I’ve done nothing but work hard for this tribe,” Kahvi says defiantly. “I’m the one bringing in water. I’m the one who chops wood. I’m the one who tends the fire. I’m working my ass off for these Wolfriders, and because I’m not a Wolfrider myself, I’m always the first one they think to cut. And elves I thought I could depend on have turned on me. Well, I may not be a Wolfrider, but I’m Two-Spear’s Revenge, and I say I’m worth three Wolfriders put together! So if they vote me out tonight, it’s not ‘cause I ain’t pulling my weight – it’s ‘cause they’re afraid I’ll win this drukkin’ game.”
Winnowill: How abrasive. You’ve already ensured yourself a trip home tonight. Scouter. You’ve been described as a poor man’s Machiavelli. I’m sorry – that’s “a stupid man’s Machiavelli.” Comments?Scouter: I made it to the Jury last time. I had a real shot at the million last time. Everyone knows I play to win. I can’t wait until we get to the Merge and I can take down some of those smug Alternaverse elves myself.
Winnowill: And with that, it is time to vote.The elves retire to vote. When they return, Winnowill reads off the ballots, one by one. A vote for Kahvi. Another vote for Kahvi. A vote for Scouter. Three votes for Kahvi. Two votes for Scouter. Four votes for Kahvi. She unfolds the next ballot slowly. “And... the third person voted off Survivor: Alternaverse... Kahvi.”
Nightfall: (on voting for Kahvi) Sorry, Kahvi. A female alliance sounded nice. But I can’t trust you not to stab us all while we sleep.
Crescent: (on voting for Scouter) You’re endangering the unity of this tribe. You only think of yourself, and we can’t afford players like you right now.Kahvi gathers her bag and brings her torch over to be extinguished. Then she disappears into the night.
KAHVI’S LAST WORDS
 (Bitter) This
isn’t the ending I wanted. But then I always seem to get the short end
of the spear when I deal with those Wolfriders. I hope Cutter sees Scouter
and Skywise for what they are. I... I’ve had enough here. It’s too hot
anyway. I’m going home. With any luck Wendy’ll call soon and let me know
whether I’m really dead at Lehrigen’s hand or not. |